people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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