You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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