This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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