Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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