im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Randomize
