i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I love you.
Bad choice
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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