Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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