Porn is love you can see.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
