i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
