she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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