any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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