is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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