she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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