so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
