dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
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guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
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My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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