Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
How does one acquire holy water?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
