I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
