There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
