I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
