now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
