take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
there's paper in my vomit.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
