u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Randomize
