I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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