i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Still dying that you shit outside
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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