"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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