Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
