im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
