you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
