dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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