I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.