i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located