did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
