somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?