I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off