drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
