a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
