everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
