Rock
Scissors
Fuck
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
