Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
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One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
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I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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