why didn't you poke me back
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
