Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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