For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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