i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
