How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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