i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
