wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
It was like getting head from an anaconda
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Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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