I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
