Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
