my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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