we're blogging at a bar
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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