Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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