i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
