what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
