Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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