Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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