That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
