Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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