I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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