just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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