shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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