apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
