Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
How's work?
Spinning.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
