what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
