Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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