I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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