You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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