i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
