I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Send help, water and tortillas.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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