love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
