take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Tornado booty call.. dedication
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
