Texts From Last Night

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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  it was like his penis was on wheels.

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  (479): it was like his penis was on wheels. http://tfl.nu/carq
  Replies (13) Good night (3544) Bad night (1497)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.

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  (717): Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall. http://tfl.nu/weml
  Replies (24) Good night (6058) Bad night (700)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.

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  (847): Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels. http://tfl.nu/hv8u
  Replies (13) Good night (7273) Bad night (1267)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"

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  (856): She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk" http://tfl.nu/d5n3
  Replies (12) Good night (7170) Bad night (1247)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.

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  (402): 21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion. http://tfl.nu/915q
  Replies (6) Good night (3648) Bad night (859)
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  (925): View more from California

  Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.

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  (925): Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager. http://tfl.nu/yj7y
  Replies (8) Good night (2536) Bad night (1103)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.

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  (740): Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am. http://tfl.nu/1jzg
  Replies (1) Good night (1499) Bad night (717)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.

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  (204): when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape. http://tfl.nu/srkz
  Replies (2) Good night (2201) Bad night (647)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!

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  (207): You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?! http://tfl.nu/i02d
  Replies (15) Good night (1905) Bad night (570)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.

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  (919): Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it. http://tfl.nu/kkz9
  Replies (2) Good night (555) Bad night (1146)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.

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  (513): Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants. http://tfl.nu/xbb5
  Replies (1) Good night (1404) Bad night (432)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth

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  (262): Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth http://tfl.nu/ck6h
  Replies (2) Good night (780) Bad night (398)
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  (415): View more from California

  I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?

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  (415): I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms? http://tfl.nu/krzn
  Replies (1) Good night (900) Bad night (317)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.

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  (503): You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life. http://tfl.nu/c63g
  Replies (2) Good night (277) Bad night (365)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated

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  (513): You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated http://tfl.nu/5dde
  Replies (5) Good night (602) Bad night (104)

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