Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.

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  (503): I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me. http://tfl.nu/a7z0
  Replies (31) Good night (2974) Bad night (1551)
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  (718): View more from New York

  you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"

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  (718): you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD" http://tfl.nu/zg6m
  Replies (29) Good night (1212) Bad night (4758)
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  (559): View more from California

  I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"

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  (559): I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face" http://tfl.nu/zv08
  Replies (18) Good night (1230) Bad night (5765)
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  (530): View more from California

  If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...

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  (530): If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good... http://tfl.nu/ucmp
  Replies (14) Good night (2241) Bad night (3123)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat

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  (978): Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat http://tfl.nu/7lwm
  Replies (18) Good night (4482) Bad night (904)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.

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  (770): She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking. http://tfl.nu/77kz
  Replies (9) Good night (3173) Bad night (797)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?

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  (541): When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party? http://tfl.nu/4whz
  Replies (6) Good night (683) Bad night (1576)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.

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  (518): I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures. http://tfl.nu/io2e
  Replies (3) Good night (1757) Bad night (543)
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  (650): View more from California

  Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.

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  (650): Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget. http://tfl.nu/sye0
  Replies (4) Good night (791) Bad night (480)
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  (916): View more from California

  Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.

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  (916): Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened. http://tfl.nu/94yj
  Replies (4) Good night (1178) Bad night (382)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Worth it.

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth

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  (617): All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless (508): Worth it. (617): I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth http://tfl.nu/dnz7
  Replies (11) Good night (1119) Bad night (698)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.

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  (660): I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox. http://tfl.nu/jszg
  Replies (1) Good night (379) Bad night (372)
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  (818): View more from California

  I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.

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  (818): I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night. http://tfl.nu/z1vu
  Replies (1) Good night (908) Bad night (283)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.

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  (602): Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in. http://tfl.nu/uh3u
  Replies (5) Good night (630) Bad night (274)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio

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  (724): quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio http://tfl.nu/4v4l
  Replies (4) Good night (638) Bad night (291)

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