Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona

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  (310): first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona http://tfl.nu/f4h4
  Replies (16) Good night (841) Bad night (2138)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.

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  (978): highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother. http://tfl.nu/jmn9
  Replies (10) Good night (3317) Bad night (690)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.

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  (702): Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily. http://tfl.nu/1vv1
  Replies (3) Good night (3504) Bad night (882)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.

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  (630): whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch. http://tfl.nu/lo8i
  Replies (5) Good night (2321) Bad night (1214)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".

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  (+44): Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices". http://tfl.nu/tgpv
  Replies (4) Good night (3020) Bad night (821)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.

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  (717): Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that. http://tfl.nu/aa8o
  Replies (4) Good night (1541) Bad night (700)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.

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  (613): You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you. http://tfl.nu/xki1
  Replies (6) Good night (1821) Bad night (737)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow

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  (615): i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow http://tfl.nu/kcra
  Replies (4) Good night (361) Bad night (1213)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  We're using joints as your birthday candles

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  (734): We're using joints as your birthday candles http://tfl.nu/y3yt
  Replies (7) Good night (1898) Bad night (490)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.

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  (301): Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level. http://tfl.nu/wvpb
  Replies (3) Good night (1051) Bad night (533)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.

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  (480): her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying. http://tfl.nu/a94q
  Replies (7) Good night (610) Bad night (1035)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public

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  (843): i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public http://tfl.nu/vwkw
  Replies (1) Good night (673) Bad night (344)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton

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  (401): The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton http://tfl.nu/me9i
  Replies (3) Good night (294) Bad night (932)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.

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  (901): First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer. http://tfl.nu/seyu
  Replies (3) Good night (696) Bad night (356)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA

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  (406): WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA http://tfl.nu/iwiz
  Replies (4) Good night (707) Bad night (255)

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