Texts From Last Night

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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol

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  (602): I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol http://tfl.nu/1jiz
  Replies (21) Good night (1315) Bad night (5174)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon

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  (701): that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon http://tfl.nu/7qfo
  Replies (20) Good night (3415) Bad night (801)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.

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  (214): A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot. http://tfl.nu/a1lj
  Replies (65) Good night (28433) Bad night (2037)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.

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  (262): Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta. http://tfl.nu/1aj3
  Replies (29) Good night (6514) Bad night (1121)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can

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  (408): we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can http://tfl.nu/prvy
  Replies (6) Good night (896) Bad night (5069)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you

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  (740): I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you http://tfl.nu/cn0s
  Replies (19) Good night (2780) Bad night (1684)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed

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  (704): dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed http://tfl.nu/q2zi
  Replies (8) Good night (2339) Bad night (945)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail

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  (410): i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail http://tfl.nu/uma4
  Replies (9) Good night (991) Bad night (2119)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.

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  (859): If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference. http://tfl.nu/hvve
  Replies (4) Good night (2632) Bad night (643)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this

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  (913): Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this http://tfl.nu/urxm
  Replies (11) Good night (818) Bad night (1418)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.

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  (318): They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it. http://tfl.nu/p3lc
  Replies (8) Good night (3174) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight

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  (253): We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight http://tfl.nu/nnba
  Replies (18) Good night (1774) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you

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  (609): And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you http://tfl.nu/cp0z
  Replies (4) Good night (869) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..

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  (620): I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life.. http://tfl.nu/aqyo
  Replies (3) Good night (518) Bad night (267)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later

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  (919): That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later http://tfl.nu/qro9
  Replies (3) Good night (706) Bad night (235)

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